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Stop laughing,
we are all seniors sooner or later.
Garage
Door. The boss walked
into the office one morning not
knowing his
zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up
to
him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your
garage
door?' The boss
told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked
into
his office
puzzled by the question.
As he finished
his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it
up. He
then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage
door.'
He headed out
for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When
my
garage door was
open, did you see my Jaguar parked in
there?'
She smiled and
said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat
tires..
Two
elderly gentlemen from
a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83
years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know
you're about my age.
How do you
feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn
baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn
baby!?' 'Yep.
No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my
pants.'
A
senior citizen said to his
eighty-year old buddy: 'So I
hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I
know her?' 'Nope!' 'This
woman, is she good looking?' 'Not
really.' 'Is
she a good cook?' 'Naw,
she can't cook too well.' 'Does
she have lots of money?' 'Nope!
Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well,
then, is she good in bed?' 'I
don't know.' 'Why
in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because
she can still drive!'
Three old
guys are
out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't
it?' Second one says, 'No, it's
Thursday!' Third
one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a
beer..'
A
man was telling his
neighbour, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's
perfect.' 'Really,'
answered the neighbour . 'What kind is it?' ' Twelve
thirty..'
Morris , an
82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down
the street with a
gorgeous young
woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris
and said, 'You're really doing
great, aren't
you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get
a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said,
'You've got a heart murmur; be
careful.'
One
more. . ...!
A
little old man shuffled slowly
into an ice cream parlour
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After
catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The
waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,'
he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now, before you
'forget', send them on to some other folks you
know
who could use a
good laugh.
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